Following The Wrong God Home
Following the wrong god home We may miss our star. For there is many a small betrayal in the mind, a shrug that lets the fragile sequence break sending with shouts the horrible errors of childhood storming out to play through the broken dike.
ARTICLES
Fouad FARJANI
In William Stafford’s poem, “A Ritual to Read to Each Other,” he presents a haunting image: “Following the wrong god home we may miss our star.”
This line, extracted from a poem of rich layers and moral reflection, strikes at the heart of human misdirection. What does it mean to follow the wrong god home?
The phrase, enigmatic yet profoundly relatable, acts as a metaphor for misplaced faith, allegiance, or purpose. In life, as in Stafford’s poetic vision, we often find ourselves pursuing ideals, people, or paths that promise fulfillment but lead us astray from our true calling.
The repercussions of such choices ripple through our experiences, leaving behind lessons that demand careful examination.
The essence of this metaphor lies in its duality: the “wrong god” represents false idols—whether material, ideological, or relational—and the “home” symbolizes the peace or fulfillment we yearn for. Yet, in this pursuit, the “star,” our guiding light or authentic purpose, remains unclaimed, obscured by the noise of our misguided devotion.
To truly grasp the weight of this concept, we must first explore what it means to follow, and then reckon with the consequences of following the wrong path.
The Act of Following
Following, in its simplest form, is an act of trust. To follow is to believe—to believe that the person, idea, or goal in front of you will lead you somewhere meaningful. This is a natural and necessary human impulse. From birth, we follow caregivers, traditions, mentors, and communities, shaping our identities through collective guidance. But following is not inherently wise or safe. It carries risks, especially when the guide—the “god”—is flawed or ill-suited to our true needs.
The “gods” we follow in life are not limited to religious figures or deities. They can take many forms: a career that promises status but drains our soul, a relationship built on infatuation rather than mutual respect, or societal ideals that prioritize wealth and appearances over authenticity and connection. These gods are seductive because they reflect what we think we want, but they often obscure what we truly need.
The danger lies not in following itself, but in following uncritically—without questioning whether the path aligns with our values, strengths, and aspirations.
The Experience of Misguided Choices
There is a distinct, visceral feeling that accompanies realizing you have followed the wrong god home. It begins subtly, often as a quiet dissonance—a nagging sense that something isn’t quite right. Perhaps it’s the job that pays well but leaves you hollow at the end of each day. Or the social media habits that promise connection but leave you isolated. Or the relentless chase for validation from people who don’t see your worth.
The wrong gods lure us with promises, but their gifts are poisoned, leaving us disillusioned, drained, or even broken.
For some, the recognition of misdirection comes swiftly, like a lightning strike in a dark storm. For others, it creeps in over years, like erosion wearing down the shoreline of confidence and joy. Either way, the realization is accompanied by grief—grief for the time lost, the energy spent, and the opportunities missed. It forces us to confront uncomfortable truths about our choices, our priorities, and the systems of belief that led us astray.
And yet, this moment of reckoning can be transformative. In the ashes of misguided choices, we often find the seeds of self-awareness. We learn not only what went wrong but why we were susceptible to the wrong gods in the first place. Was it fear of being left behind? A desire to belong? An inability to say no?
Understanding these motivations allows us to recalibrate our inner compass, to seek out and follow the “star” Stafford spoke of.
The Role of Self-Awareness
At the heart of Stafford’s metaphor lies the imperative of self-awareness. To avoid following the wrong god home, we must first know ourselves—our values, our desires, our capacities, and our limits. Without this foundational knowledge, we are vulnerable to the influence of others, whether well-intentioned or exploitative.
Self-awareness acts as a filter, allowing us to discern what aligns with our authentic self and what does not.
Importantly, self-awareness is not about being perfectly informed. In today’s age of information overload, being informed often feels like a Sisyphean task. There is always more to know, more to read, more to consider. But even perfect information cannot save us if we lack the ability to interpret it through the lens of our own needs and goals. Similarly, being misinformed or uninformed is not an insurmountable obstacle if we approach life with curiosity, humility, and a commitment to growth.
Self-awareness, in this context, is not about what we know but about how we know—how we process, reflect, and adapt to the world around us.
Authentic Connections with Our Capacities and Others
One of the most profound lessons to emerge from following the wrong god home is the importance of connection—both with ourselves and with others. When we pursue paths that are not our own, we often lose touch with our capacities. We forget what we are good at, what brings us joy, and what makes us unique. Reconnecting with these capacities requires time, patience, and often the support of others who see us more clearly than we see ourselves.
Similarly, authentic connections with others can serve as a powerful antidote to misdirection. When we build relationships based on mutual respect, honesty, and shared values, we create a network of support that helps us navigate life’s uncertainties. These connections act as mirrors, reflecting back our true selves and reminding us of the star we seek to follow. They challenge us to stay grounded, to question our assumptions, and to strive for alignment between our actions and our aspirations.
Following the wrong god home is a universal human experience. We all, at some point, place our trust in people, ideas, or goals that fail to deliver on their promises. But this misdirection is not the end of the story. It is an opportunity to pause, refresh, and reflect.
By cultivating self-awareness, we equip ourselves to make better choices—choices that honor our true selves and lead us closer to the star that Stafford so poetically envisioned.
In the end, being perfectly informed or avoiding mistakes may be a positive indicator. But sometime, It is about staying attuned to the quiet voice within us that whispers of our deepest truths. It is most certainly about building authentic connections that ground us in our capacities and challenge us to grow.
And it is definitely about remembering that the star we seek is not a distant, unattainable dream. It is within us, waiting patiently to guide us home.
