Racism VS Hate

"Alright, folks, let’s talk about racism—aka stupidity on steroids. Now, don’t get me wrong, people don’t need race as an excuse to hate each other. Humans hate each other for all kinds of reasons, loud chewing, bad parking, pineapple on pizza...but sure, let’s slap a race label on it to keep things spicy."

"First up, the classics—Black and White. The OG beef. This rivalry has been running longer than ‘The Simpsons,’ and it’s just as repetitive. Then we’ve got Latinos, Asians, and my personal, least favorite, ‘The Alphabet People.’ No, I’m not talking about Sesame Street—I mean the LGBTQIA+ passengers. Everyone's got a role in the melting pot, except it’s not melting anymore—it’s curdling. I mean, turning into the stinky kinda cheese."

"Well, for starters, our DNA doesn’t give a damn what color we are. Like, deep down, your cells aren’t debating privilege or oppression. They’re just out here trying to not let you die. But nooo, Debra from Medium thinks her skin tone makes her special. Debra, honey, your genes don’t even like you, okay? Sit your half-ass down."

"Now let’s talk about the puppet masters—those geniuses behind the ‘victim vs. oppressor’ drama. Is it Robin DiAngelo, Netflix, Google, or the Democrats? Honestly, it could be all of them having a potluck. They’re sitting around going, 'How can we make everyone miserable today?' And BAM—another TED Talk on why you should feel like garbage."

"Let’s break it down, If you’re Black, you’re supposed to feel like a victim. If you’re White, congrats—you’re the villain. Latino? Depends. Asian? You’re the overachiever with no personality. And if you’re Alphabet People, well, you’ve got an entire month and a parade, so good luck fitting that on a Hallmark card."

"Then we’ve got the media, right? The master chefs of chaos. They take an already bad situation, sprinkle in some outrage, and bake it at 450° for 24 hours. Next thing you know, Aunt Linda is screaming about critical race theory at Thanksgiving dinner, and Uncle Bob’s talking about ‘back in my day.’ Bob, nobody cares about your day. Your day sucked. Everyone had polio."

"And let’s not forget the politicians. Oh, they love race more than I love cheap wine—and trust me, that’s saying something. They’ll whip out the race card faster than a televangelist asking for donations during a natural disaster. Democrats? They’ll sit you down, cry with you, and then charge you for a group therapy session you didn’t ask for. Republicans? They’re just over here clinging to the word ‘American’ like it’s a family heirloom they found in a garage sale—terrified someone’s gonna tell them it’s fake."

"The funniest—or saddest—part is that racism isn’t even original. Like, guys, we’ve done this already. Can we get a new plotline? At this point, humanity’s just rewatching the same bad sitcom. Racism’s so outdated, it’s practically wearing cargo shorts and asking for your Wi-Fi password."

"Honestly, the solution is probably just laughing at how ridiculous it all is. You’re not special because of your skin color. You’re special because you have bad credit, two failed relationships, and a dream that’ll never come true—just like everyone else!"

"Thank you, thank you. Now, go out there and hate someone for a real reason—like leaving the shopping cart in the parking lot behind your car!"